The Lies That Saved A Judge (II).
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One writer on the subject, Miriam Adahan, in her book 'It's All a Gift', related how a friend's eight-month old baby was undergoing treatment for cancer. Mrs. Adahan sat with her for hours, hearing one visitor after another say, 'Don't worry. He's going to be just fine.'
When they were finally alone, her friend looked at her through tearful eyes and said:
'Don't they know how much their optimism hurts me? Don't they realize that they aren't letting me talk about what's most on my mind - that he may not get better? It's like someone putting a hand over my mouth and suffocating me. I have to lie and smile and say over and over, 'Of course, everything's going to be fine,' which only makes me feel worse. Why can't these people stop with their optimistic drivel and just listen a little?'
Among other examples of this kind of phenomenon that this author tells over, is the story of a young mother who confided to an older woman how she felt trapped in her house all day long.
'I'm so depressed!' she confessed. 'I resent my children and snap at them when they make demands. I think about death all the time.'
Nonsense,' retorted the older woman, 'these are the best years of your life!' What's wrong with you? Don't you appreciate how wonderful it is to have healthy children? You're ungrateful, selfish and spoiled.'
