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Observations on New Zealand (III).

By Douglas Sassman.


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Now that’s not to say my T-bone victim couldn’t pull out a big knife or samurai sword and charge after me, but hey, I’ll take my chances.

Hell must be like the Auckland motorway system: What I find most amazing about the design of the Auckland motorways is that people with degrees behind their desks actually sat down and designed them. Who builds two motorways, one on top of the other and, and doesn’t link them together in any conceivable fashion? Have you ever tried to get from the Northern Motorway to the Northwestern? Good luck.

If you’re a tourist you will get lost, simple as that, because there are no signs. Oh, there is one sign for the Northwestern that will lure you off the Northern motorway, and you’ll follow it with confidence, but then you’ll soon find that the Land Transport Authority has betrayed you, left you to wander downtown, sign-less and without hope.

Have you ever tried to figure out what road you’re on when you’re lost? Have you ever wondered why when a road curves two degrees it gets a new name? Well I have, I’ve pondered all these things, and I have no answers for you…I doubt anyone does.

Breasts on TV: Oh the joys of living in a sexually liberated society. Condom and genital herpes ads are a common occurrence on TV and no one pickets, no one boycotts. Boobs appear on TV during a drama and nobody flinches; I still do, 'Did you see that! Is this normal TV?!'




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